Drink of the Month Presents: 151 Reasons to Love

Drink of the Month Presents: 151 Reasons to Love

Since this is the "month of love", ya'll know I got to pay tribute
to Valentines Day and all of it's victims of Cupids arrow. Using
the word "victims" makes it sound like I'm saying love is a bad
thing. But is it?

How many of ya'll can honestly say that you've been touched
by true love? (DISCLAIMER: Do not read that part out loud if
your loved one is right next to you. University Hustle is not held
liable for any beat downs caused by reading this magazine. Next
time read the fine print.) 

Cause lets face it. As good as love is, we've all done some real
dumb shit in the name of love; Pardon my French. (Sorry,
French People) Like traveling all the way to the boondocks to
see that person without a clue of where you're going (shout out to
RIVERHEAD!), OR blowing all your hard earned cash on that
special someone for their birthday and they end up breaking up
with you the day after. Or start some Facebook wall beef cause
you didn't like a comment that someone posted on your boo's wall.
A wise man once told me two things which I'll never forget. One:
never swallow water in the kiddy pool. And two: you know you're
truly in love if you can give 151 reasons.

Ok, I'm not going to front. I read it in a fortune cookie once. But
nevertheless, there is some truth to it. So this University Hustle writer
is going to be the first to put his head on the chopping block and tell
ya'll about my true love...in poem form (yea, I'm cultured). *Ahem
(clearing throat)...and I read:

Whenever you go down, you light my soul on fire

Our personal time together is called Happy Hour, and
some of that is what I desire.

You constantly stay wet, without my touch

Remember the first time we met at the bar? Damn, you
didn’t say much

You’re so small and petite; I could fit you in one hand

I don’t know if you white or black, but whatever you
are I love that golden brown tan.

To finish this poem, I need a word that rhymes with month

‘Cuz my true love isn't a person, it's "151 reasons" the
new drink of the month

If you would like to make your own "151 Reasons", here's
how you do it:

3/4 oz 151 proof rum

2   oz orange juice

2   oz 7-Up® soda

3/4 oz lemonade

This drink is like a retarded midget, small and strong (no offense
to all the strong midgets out there). So make sure before you
drink this drink, you: 

(A): know what you're doing and 

(2): sign the death waiver or else you'll have 151 problems, and a
drink ain’t one!!

These are the words of a certified alcoholic...

Carl Samuels

Kris Crossed

So Kristina hit me up over the phone and we kicked it for a minute because if you remember, she used to write for us; then she hit me with it, “yo P, when I’ma be in Attention Please?” I ain’t a hater so I was like, “whenever. Just let me know…” So she goes on to tell me how her booty is fourty-seven inches and things and I told her she was lying. She goes, “let’s make a bet!” So of course being the good sport that I am, I made the bet. We put a drink on it. I told her if she was wrong, she owes me a Long Island Iced Tea; and if I were wrong, vice versa. So here comes the photo shoot and she brings the tape measure. Stephanie, her close friend, tells me I’m a retard for betting but I really didn’t believe. Steph wraps the tape around her and well, let’s just say I still owe her a drink. I hate being wrong.